While anyone, regardless of neurotype, can be devastated by a job loss, autistic people are often traumatized by losing a job because we don’t understand why we’re being fired (and nobody will tell us).
Common Reasons Autistic People Are Fired
Autistic people are often fired for being autistic. A manager may not realize that’s why they are letting an employee go, but autistic people can be fired due to a fundamental lack of understanding of our natural traits.
As a late-diagnosed autistic person, I often sat in offices with my supervisors, stunned and confused by the complaints they made. I never fully understood what I was doing wrong or how to fix it, but I already had enough experience to know that once it started happening at one job, it was time to start sending out resumes to look for another because it was only a matter of time before I was fired–again.
Here are some of the reasons I was reprimanded and fired from my places of employment:
Not understanding how to do my job
I think it’s fair that a person who cannot do their job is not able to keep that job, but only if reasonable accommodations have been exhausted. When I first started working, I didn’t even know I was different from everyone else, so asking for accommodations wasn’t even a thought in my head.
In addition to being autistic, I also have ADHD and learning differences, but neurotypical supervisors would show me what to do only once or twice before I was expected to do it on my own! My brain could not catch on fast enough, and I was often let go before I ever had the chance to get it right.
Not being sociable enough
At work, my focus was on my job, not on making friends, not on having a conversation by the water cooler, but on my job. This made me seem ‘uninterested’, ‘above it all’, and ‘stand-offish’ to others. However, nobody took the time to explain this to me. It was something I had to piece together much later on my own.
Not picking up on neurotypical facial expressions and body language
I don’t pick up on hints, and even though I’ve memorized the meaning of certain types of neurotypical facial expressions, body language, and tones of voice, reading them off the cuff is not natural for me. This means that if I was doing or saying something at work that was frowned upon, any signs my co-workers may have been giving me with their facial expressions, tone of voice, or body language went over my head. They thought I just didn’t care, but their hints never reached my brain. I often didn’t even know there was a problem until I was fired, which is what made it all the more devastating.
Having an “attitude” or being “rude”
Like many autistic people, my facial expressions and vocal tones may not match my internal emotions, which can make me come across as uninterested, angry, or rude when I’m quite content and happy. My facial expressions and tone have been misread by employers, co-workers, and customers alike to the point where I’ve been suddenly told off or fired but had no idea what was going on.
Asking “too many” questions
Autistic people ask questions to get answers, whereas some neurotypical people ask questions to get answers OR to undermine and question the authority of others. My autistic mind cannot wrap itself around this other use of questions. It makes no sense to me. Unfortunately, because I had to ask multiple clarifying questions in order to understand what was expected of me on the job, I quickly irritated others, unintentionally alienated myself, and was fired.
Autistic People Often Never Know Why Job Loss Occurred
My main point throughout this article is this; very few neurotypical employers will sit down and explain exactly what went wrong and why the autistic person is being fired. They’ll say something like, “It’s not working out” or “It’s just not a good fit” but will not answer questions or give specifics about what went wrong and how the autistic person might correct it in the future.
That’s the part that’s most traumatic for autistic people. Getting fired is something that can happen to anyone but being fired repeatedly and not knowing why it’s happening makes the workforce feel like a very unsafe place.
The Takeaway
Autistic people are significantly under-employed and unemployed not because we lack job skills or motivation, but because we are held to and judged against neurotypical standards. Understanding and accessibility can go a long way in making us feel secure in maintaining our employment instead of worrying every day that we will be called into our supervisor’s office and lose yet another job for “mysterious” reasons.
Spot on currently my son is experiencing this and he is yelling away and we are facing the brunt of it as parents. I dont know how to cope with that any advice.
Nithya
I was just reprimanded at my job for HOW I WALK. They said I was “walking without purpose”. I don’t even know what that means. And now, knowing that I’m literally being judged for going from point a to point b, I’m strongly debating just ghosting the job.
How you WALK?! I’m so sorry. That is…that’s beyond discrimination. That’s just ridiculous!
That’s so stupid! I was fired for my attendance, I keep getting the burn out cause I’m so stressed and high masking. But they refuse to fire the one person who is always calling out and leaving early or late because she doesn’t actually wanna work
Hello, Ms. Heidel,
Perfectly-written article! I am autistic and have faced many/all of the situations that you described in this article. Would you believe that I was fired from a company that should have been more patient with me, and is one of the very few companies [out there] that hire only data analysts/consultants that fall within Autism Spectrum Disorder. That was very hurtful and unfair, and I was shattered. 🙁 🙁
I’m so sorry this happened to you. 🙁
I think it would be great for autistic people to let usknow that you are autistic so that we know not to take rude, hurtful comments personally. If we know up front, we can all “cut each other some slack” and work better together.
Wow!!😟
Or just be patient and kind anyway? Why do we owe you a diagnosis just to be treated like people?
The problem with this is we are a marginalized group. I have been treated worse by coworkers and bullied after disclosing my disability. I think a better solution would be nerodiversity training and in general, more diversity training in the workplace. It is time people meet us half way.
I think it would be great for non-autistic people to not assume. We shouldn’t have to wear a billboard on our foreheads advertising that we’re autistic. You wouldn’t tell everyone in the office that you have HIV if you had it, right? You should treat everyone with respect autistic or not.
I couldn’t agree more.
If 1/5 of people are “neuroatypical”, is there even a use for the word “neuroatypical”? Can’t we just assume you can’t compare apples and oranges and move on? I know for me, being autistic and having autistic parents, 5 autistic siblings, an autistic wife and 2 autistic children, nobody seems quirkier than a “neurotypical”.
We are often not the first to make a hurtful comment. The first stone is cast when we ask to ‘go over it one more time to make sure my notes are good’ and then overhear the the whisper in lunch room or at the copier and we rarely miss the eye roll. If we tell up front we have to deal with ‘you’re too stupid or too sensitive to do this job’ and it’s one foot out the door, just waiting for the shoe to drop. What really needs to happen is for NTs to simply be more polite and all will be much better.
By letting people know, you open yourself up to being treated like you are mentally retarded. By letting people know, you ruin any chance of ever being promoted. Neurotypicals fear what is not understood. Autistic people range in severity from being incoherent all the way up to almost normal. I believe that neurotypicals worry that the autistic person will be a lot of hassle. I have experienced everything that was written in this article. I’m generally never given any kind of due process. I’m just let go for vague reasons… or reasons that I find out about after I hire an attorney. The reasons are often easily explained had they bothered to ask me. Something I have experienced over and over is that I get bullied by my subordinate employees. I might delegate a task to them and they refuse to do it. Insubordination. I attempt to write them up but then I’m accused of being racist or something awful and then I’m ultimately let go for my inability to manage people or inability to gain the respect of my employees. Their lack of respect for the chain of command is a reflection on them, not me. I am never supported by my bosses. I’m essentially disposable. Trying to work is incredibly hard. There are no resources for people like me. All I can do is hire an attorney, the company usually settles with me and then I have to start all over again. I have applied for disability many times and I’m told that autism doesn’t get worse with age, it gets easier so I am denied. It’s horrible.
As someone who is neurodivergent I glad to hear you want to hire someone like me. Beyond that I don’t understand what you’re trying to say. Are you asking a question or making a statement.
I’m a COO considering hiring a person who is likely autistic or at least neuroatypical. I have much experience as a personal assistant, living full-time in the home. I have been assigned as charges, children with learning disabilities. I have applications from 3 other autistic people. (My previous work is known.) I want to have success with these folks.
I appreciate the sentiment, Mr. Eastmond. My recommendation first and foremost is to look up the Enneagram (if you do not know it already) and familiarize yourself with the type that your new hire is. Neurotypicals tend to have semi-strong traits from three or more Enneagram types, but those on the spectrum tend to have extreme personalities that react like vinegar and baking soda to the wrong situations. For instance, if your new hire is a Type 1, requiring accountability from him or her may actually push him or her over the edge since Type 1’s are always punishing themselves for imperfections. If he or she is a Type 4, expect that he or she will have his or her own way of doing things and that trying to superimpose a different pattern onto him or her just will not work out. Every type has strengths but also has limitations. Autistic people tend to overemphasize those strengths and fall hard on those limitations. If your new hire is unfamiliar with Enneagram, have him or her look up a free version and then study what the online resources say about that type. The tests are imperfect (I know, I’ve built one myself), but it should be possible to identify his or her type with research.
Hello. I apologize for the delay in response. I think your son may be experiencing deep pain and a feeling of rejection plus frustration with not clearly understanding why he was fired from his position. This can be a very traumatic experience for us. While I don’t know specifically what your son is going through, I can definitely say he needs emotional support and to know that whatever happened, it wasn’t his fault.
I’m a high functioning person with autistic characteristics, enough so I recognize that I am on the spectrum but not enough that it is recognizable esp. at first. I find that my outcome and ability to perform is directly related to my manager’s ability to give a clear mandate – what is the desired outcome, what are my resources, what is the timeline, what decisions can I make and how do we communicate about progress. All of these satisfied, I will be successful and the employer happy.
However, interacting with others who might not be so keen to help, or who are passive aggressive can short circuit me. I find myself very triggered by this as it does not align to my worldview that everyone should be onboard who needs to be. These interactions are where I fail. Other unworkable situations for me are when a manager is a ditherer or changes his mind or can’t make up his mind. I make decisions and execute very quickly and it bugs me if someone interferes with that momentum, although I am ok when circumstances change and we need to rework the scope of something. But people who perpetually change their mind or who talk alot without getting to the point are not easy for me to work with.
I try to gather my thoughts and inputs before assigning work, and try to be as clear as I can in what I need, sometimes providing too much detail which can tend to confuse vs. illuminate. I tend towards being a control freak which can be offputting.
As far as energy and working hours, I will often work very late when I’m on a roll – my energy cycles in and out based on my engagement. I meet deadlines, but many neurotypicals might be concerned about my work cycles or hours. I am not an early riser, but I am a night owl.
All this to say I am much better as a sole contributor or leading a team and better if that team is outsourced and someone I can dictate my needs to and not have to cajole them or worry they will be offended.
I’ve achieved awesome things and had really top results, being made a partner at one known investment firm, but later fired as my inability to work with difficult board members who needed kid glove treatment and management that was driven by fear and protectionism and I could not interpret what the deliverables were. And friction with non performing team members. Like the OP said – you may not know what it is you did precisely, but you recognize the cascade of events that will result in you being fired. Sigh.
I can relate to this. I am a senior-level software engineer with high-functioning autism (diagnosed about 4 years ago as a middle-aged adult). Given that I have a master’s degree and over 20 years of professiona experience, I normally do very well at my job – at least when working in an environment that has good project-management processes.
The challenge for me is when I’m put in high-pressure situations, in which I feel like I’m “drinking from the firehose”……e.g., I’m tasked with creating a large and complex application or Web service within a limited time frame and am given little or no documentation – most of the “specifications” come from chat messages and/or verbally over Zoom calls, and often from multiple stakeholders who sometimes don’t agree on all the details. Such a rapid-fire delivery of information from multiple people (with no “triage” system in place to organize/prioritize the flow of information) can be quite disorienting for me, and there have been times when I’ve dived into a project with an inaccurate understanding of what the stakeholders really wanted.
This, of course, extends the timeline of the project as I need to go back and rewrite large portions of the software – and then the pressure from the internal stakeholders starts mounting as time goes on. As a result, in situations like this, I find myself tormented by anxiety and a sense of shame/failure – and when I’m in such a headspace, the quality of my work suffers and I find myself rushing to get things done.
I am going through such a period right now in my current job with a fast-paced startup. I’ve worked for this company for a year and three months, and I did well on my first two large software projects (even earning an “exceeds expectation” on all my previous quarterly performance reviews); but this particular project is different – much trickier and with more “scope creep” than the previous two. All I can think about these days is how much the stakeholders must hate me for failing to deliver, and thus how close I am to being fired. In the early days of my employment, I confided verbally to my supervisor (who is also a C-level) that I am on the autism spectrum, but I can’t remember if I checked off the “I have a disability” box on the initial job application. Thus I’m not sure if I’m protected under Title VII. (I’m considering reaching out to the HR manager to see if I checked this box and amending the form if necessary – but I’m apprehensive about my supervisor finding out I did this).
My dream is to work as a senior-level software engineer for a company that values neurodiversity and understands how to make reasonable accommodations for people who have my condition….and preferrably without suffering a drastic cut in my compensation. I hope someone can help me.
I’m 50 years old and about to be forced out from yet another job. I do my work well but I’m a pain in the ass I guess. I show my anger too easily, and I hate small talk etc my coworkers don’t like me.
I think I am about to be fired too. I got the job before my diagnosis. I am 59 and the idea of trying to find another job at my age and with this disability is awful. My manager started behaving strangely. Nitpicking, micromanaging and sending very formal emails. I had a breakdown and was coming back to work slowly.
I asked not to have one on ones with her. Ever since one of our first when she asked me if I get anxious. I replied yes, sometimes. She said “just don’t”. She has pulled me up for my tone. She is a person who kisses up and kicks down. I find working for her very unsafe.
First full day back, she asks me repeatedly and formally what hours I am working so she can assign my work. She has never assigned my work. I tell her what I am doing.
Then I get a long email. It had impossible deadlines, vague work for a “seminar” due soon and needs to be checked by a junior. It went on and on.
I panicked. I told her no. I wasn’t ok with it. I got angry. I sent angry texts.
What really bugs me is I picked this job so carefully. The 2 chaps who hired me were great. We thought the same way. I took a big pay cut to be in a safe job. I didn’t know she was on secondment. She didn’t like me from day 1 she came back.
I know we are not supposed to say it here but I would give anything now to rest in peace. But I can’t face how that would affect my 3 grown kids.
I can’t face life either. Without a job, I have no savings. It’s finished.
Stuck.
I’m so sorry. This is so unfair to all of us. 🙁
So I am autistic I am only 20 years old yet I have been fired from 5 jobs already and I never understand why but my issue is my current job they have been slowly cutting my hours and they act nice around me but I am smart and recognize that they r possibly playing me along I have asked for more hours due to my autism I don’t work full time only about 20-25 hours a week and I was working 20 hours when I started now I’m working 14 hours a week I’m working less than the high school students there and I’m not in college or high school no more I wanna be treated with respect I only work part time because of my autistic meltdowns but I don’t hate working I in fact love working but it’s such a struggle cause I can’t get my accommodations that I’m used to from my 13 years of school I have no idea what to do when it comes to working cause from my perspective I’m doing a good job I’m in fact overworking myself I’m doing more work than what I’m asked I’m doing things before I’m told to do it I do have my bad days where I’m a bit lazy on the job but isn’t that just normal for everyone to have a bad day for the most part I ask questions about everything cause I wanna make sure I’m doing my job correct I don’t wanna get in trouble for simply not understanding something and I’m a lil bit social when it comes to customers and taking orders I can be a lil bit social but when I’m not in the mood to talk to people and I am forced to do so I may sound mad or upset which is not the case I’m just not in the mood to socialize and I’ll even express that to my managers ahead of time and tell them I’m not very social I’d rather do tasks that don’t require me to socialize as much and I feel like to some people they think I just don’t wanna work but in my case I’m just not comfortable talking to customers and I’m also not comfortable doing certain parts of a job I have tried to get accommodations but it never works my job right now is cutting my hours so low that I don’t even feel motivated to go to work anymore I just wanna quit but I don’t want to cause this is my 6th job already and I can’t even legally drink yet I feel like it’s all me but at the same time jobs don’t know or understand how to accommodate people like us people who actually have disabilities who struggle everyday I want to work a full time job or a part time job that pays me well I want to have my own car learn to drive go to college get my own apartment but I feel completely stuck I keep losing jobs I can’t ever get enough money to do anything I’m still living with my dad I have no idea what I’m supposed to do I also don’t wanna get disability money I’m not that disabled I just have autism and ADHD I don’t need disability money I can work just fine if I’m accommodated for my disability at this point I’m completely stuck and have no idea what I’m even doing with my life anymore I feel depressed because I wish more people would understand me and to help me so I can be successful in life I know that I’m only 20 and I still have my whole life to live and I know it’s normal to feel this way when ur fresh out of school but I could use some advice on what I can do to better help myself when it comes to working
One-on-ones are what did it for me too. I would have a panic attack every Wednesday night knowing that I was going to be subject the next day to “I don’t understand the environment you work in, but do it better.” My boss openly admitted to not understanding anything I did, but she insisted on breathing down my neck. I’d get sick very frequently just thinking about having to do one-on-ones, but when I requested that they not occur, I was told “They have to because it’s policy.”
I just got let go because the tools I was given to do the job were pulled out from under me and replaced with entirely new tools with absolutely no explanation of how to use them. I worked for months to find anyone who would be willing to explain them to me, but they were so focused on WHY the change was good that they had no interest in explaining WHAT the change actually was. I got behind and my boss accused me of slacking. I was putting in 60 hours a week on average trying to provide tasks for 15 different people with very specific criteria of how they wanted things, and the new tool was both fluid and random, changing often with no warning because it was “new”. My boss expected perfection by tomorrow and when I told her I could not produce what she wanted without putting in 120 hours of work, she fired me. I couldn’t be happier to see that job go, but I have a wife and two kids to feed and the boss doesn’t even seem to care that I have no other source of income. In the end, since I was “salaried”, I was making less than I would have made per hour at a McDonalds, but I was expected to do the work of three people with no room for error.
I just got let go because the tools I was given to do the job were pulled out from under me and replaced with entirely new tools with absolutely no explanation of how to use them. I worked for months to find anyone who would be willing to explain them to me, but they were so focused on WHY the change was good that they had no interest in explaining WHAT the change actually was. I got behind and my boss accused me of slacking. I was putting in 60 hours a week on average trying to provide tasks for 15 different people with very specific criteria of how they wanted things, and the new tool was both fluid and random, changing often with no warning because it was “new”. My boss expected perfection by tomorrow and when I told her I could not produce what she wanted without putting in 120 hours of work, she fired me. I couldn’t be happier to see that job go, but I have a wife and two kids to feed and the boss doesn’t even seem to care that I have no other source of income. In the end, since I was “salaried”, I was making less than I would have made per hour at a McDonalds, but I was expected to do the work of three people with no room for error.
I should clarify that I have an exceedingly rare form of ASD. I have a 190 IQ but I can’t fold a paper airplane or find my way to the corner store without getting lost. The fact that the organization had literally tens of thousands of file folders nested inside of each other in a very complex system was very hard for me, but I was expected to use the tools that were created by my predecessor instead of create my own, even when the tools no longer worked because someone took away the accesses I had needed before and replaced them with an entirely different programming tool. I was not allowed to get the programming tool I actually know and am skilled with until a week before termination because, and I quote, “Nobody else in the enterprise uses it, so you don’t need it.”